This Crazy Thing Called Life: The NICU Days...

Thirty little fingers, thirty little toes. Underneath the wires, cords, blankets and hats, there they were! My babies were absolutely beautiful. And no, I'm not biased. Not one little bit. I hadn't been allowed to see them for several hours after having them, and would have to wait even longer to hold them. Talk about torture! After fighting every day to get these babies into the world safely, I now had to be apart from them and I didn't like it one bit. Around 6pm the day I delivered them, I told the nurse that I needed to see them right then. She did not feel I was ready to get up yet, but I wasn't waiting. It was horrible pain getting up, but I didn't care. I had to see their sweet little faces. The first time I saw them, I was speechless. I saw Makayla first. She was so tiny, but she was strong! Marissa had a headfull of hair and was a bit opinionated from the start. And my baby boy Jack, he needed to be on a c-pap for a day so it was a little hard to see his face, but he was a fighter as well. The girls looked so much like their big sister already! All along Jack was Baby "A," but Marissa pushed him aside and made sure she was first. I guess in a way, it was a sign of things to come as she is always first. First one I got to hold, first one home, first one to roll over, the list will most likely continue. The girl's on a mission. And Jack is super laid back. As long as you keep him fed, he's happy. So it doesn't surprise me now, that he let her gain the #1 spot. It was so tough, just sitting there looking at them thru their incubators, but all of the nurses were amazed by how well they were doing right from the beginning. Marissa was breathing on her own and within two days, she could eat on her own. The first time I held her, I knew that she knew I was her mother. She was screaming and hollering her little lungs out. She was so mad as the nurse tried to untangle all her wires so that I could hold her. She was bright red by time the nurse was handing her to me. The nurse laid this tiny, 4 pound baby in my arms, and she immediately became quiet. She knew she was in mommy's arms. I felt an instant bond with her and did not want to let her go! I was allowed to hold her for about ten minutes and then I did have to put her back in her "home" as we did not want her losing too much body heat. I could not wait until I could hold my other two babies and hoped it would be very soon! The next morning when we went to see the babies, they told me I could hold Makayla. The nurse put this tiny three pound girl in my arms and my heart melted. Against all odds, here she was. Proof that God does answer prayers! As with her sister, I did not want to put her back, but we didn't want her losing any weight and using her energy to get warm would cause that, so back in her "home "she went. Two days later I finally got to hold my sweet baby boy and at that point I finally felt complete. I had held all my babies and knew that they were doing just fine. Marissa came off of her feeding tube first (of course) and really liked to eat. Makayla and Jack still needed theirs, but the nurses were optimistic it wouldn't be for long. Both of them also had IV's in their scalps, and I couldn't wait until those could be taken out. Of course our number one question was when they would get to come home. The nurses told us to expect them to be ready around the time I would have been 40 weeks, which was June 22, over a month away. This made us sad, but we knew they would come home when the time was right. A few nights after I had them, I started feeling bad around 11pm. I was freezing cold, very sore and very tired. By the next morning I had a fever over 102. So, I sent Mike down to see the babies while the nurses gave me medicine hoping to get my fever down. When he came back, he was very unhappy so I asked him what was wrong. He told me that I wouldn't be allowed to see my babies for 24 hours after my fever broke. I couldn't believe it! I was finally allowed to hold all of my babies and now I couldn't even go see them?? I was very sad about this, but I also knew it was best and I didn't want to risk getting them sick. That day seemed to drag on so long and I was so happy when I could go see them again! The next day, the doctor told me that I could go home and I had such mixed emotions. I missed Marley terribly and couldn't wait to see her, but I also didn't want to leave my babies. We spent that entire day with the babies and that evening we came home to our sweet Marley. She was so happy to see me and just hugged me for several minutes. Over the next few weeks, we juggled visiting with the babies and spending time with Marley. The nurses at Tampa General were amazing and updated us on each baby the minute we walked in. Marissa was thriving and we just had to make sure she continued that for a few days. Makayla was slowly getting the hang of eating and just had to grow a little so she could keep her body warm on her own. Jack struggled the most with eating. I think he thought he was at the Hilton. The second he cried, young, pretty nurses went running to his aid and made sure he was okay. He knew what he was doing! The boy is smart. They even let Marley come meet her siblings which made her very happy. I tried to get as much rest as I could because I knew that once the babies were home, that would be a thing of the past! Four months later, I'm still missing that rest. Less than two weeks after I had the babies, the nurses told me one of them was ready to come home. You guessed it....Marissa! Three days after her, Makayla got to come home and two days after her, on June 2nd (3 weeks before they estimated!) Jack got to come home. We were all home together, all six of us, and we were ready to begin the next part of our journey!